Kanda's Fear
by LilaUme
Summary: Ever wondered what Yuu Kanda is afraid of? Join Allen, Lenalee, and Lavi as they attempt to find out through spiders, ghost stories, etc. In the process, will they discover more to their dark-haired friend than meets the eye?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**This was a little idea I had after watching the anime for D. Grayman as well as after reading a limited number of chapters in the Manga. So the time frame for the story would be after the anime finishes but before the discovery of Allen being a Noah. This is also my first fanfic! I really hope you enjoy! Please review, I will take supportive criticism, or unsupportive if you like. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: D. Grayman and all characters belong to Katsura Hoshino, I own nothing!**

It was lunchtime, and the cafeteria of the Black Order Headquarters is bustling with activity. Finders, Exorcists, and scientists moved about, lining up to get their food from their ever-so-cheerful head chef. Others were chatting animatedly, sitting on the long tables and benches and enjoying the food and what little time of peace they had before it was back to the missions and research.

A certain white-haired boy plopped his 5 trays, filled to the brim with all kinds of delicious food (courtesy of Jeryy), on the table before sitting opposite of Lenalee and Lavi.

"Oi Allen," Says Lavi, "do you have any fears?"

"Fears?" says Allen, confused, "You mean spiders, the dark, that kind of thing?"

"Yes, do you have any?"

"Why so suddenly ask this type of question?" Allen asks, still confused.

"Out of curiosity, that's all." Lavi replied.

Allen thought back to the time when he was up against Tyki Mikk, when he broke Allen's Innocence, and about the time he watched, helpless as Road breaks Lavi's mind while threatening to impale Lenalee and Chaoji with candles.

If what he felt that time wasn't the gut-wrenching notion of fear, he doesn't know what is.

"Yeah," Allen replies, " Of course I have fears, don't everyone?"

"What are your fears?"

"Well," Allen began, "I'm scared of my Innocence getting broken, I'm scared of being helpless and unable to protect my friends. Oh and who could forget," Allen face turns dark, "I am _terrified_ of my womanizing, no-good, debt-causing, master Marian Cross!"

"…."

_Just how bad was this kid's childhood? _Thought Lavi.

" So how about you Lenalee?"

"I'm scared of my friends getting hurt," Lenalee bluntly states, "I am scared of the Black Order getting destroyed, because this is my home, and all those who resides here I consider family. I also don't want to be separated from my brother…." Lenalee's voice trailed off, but she looked up with a start as she realized what she just said.

"REALLY?" Allen and Lavi yelled simultaneously.

"Then why do you act like you can't stand him?"

"Yeah! You smack him on the head and such…."

"I _**was**_scared okay?" Lenalee states loudly, "He was the only family member I had after all! And besides, I was separated from him without a choice!"

At this, Allen and Lavi felt guilty as they were reminded of how Lenalee didn't really think of the Order as home when she first came.

After a minute of fairly awkward silence, Lavi spoke up.

"… oh yeah! Getting to the point, does anyone know what Yuu's afraid of?"

"… Bakanda?" Allen says, "He's afraid of… er…. heights?"

"No." Says Lenalee.

"Bugs?"

"No."

"Thunderstorms?"

"No."

"Tight spaces?"

"No."

"The dark?"

"Seriously? No."

"Sharp stuff?"

"You know his Innocence is a sword?"

"Supernatural stuff?"

"You know we're _Exorcists_?"

"Public speaking?"

"Do you honestly think that Kanda has done or will do any of that?"

"Okay then," Says Allen, "What do you think?"

"… I dunno…"

"Wait Lenalee," Lavi says, " Do you know _for sure_ he isn't scared of any of those things?"

"Hmm…." Lenalee thought for a moment, "I am sure that he has went out on a mission during a thunderstorm _and_ the dark in the past nine years he's been here, so he's definitely not scared of those. Not sharp stuff, because as I said, his Innocence is a sword. I bet on at least _some_ of his mission he had to hide in small and tight spaces, so a no to claustrophobia. For supernatural… I'm actually not so sure about that anymore, we've only beaten demons… and investigated cases where the "ghost" turned out to be innocence because of the finders… so I'm not sure about actual _ghosts_."

Lavi grinned, albeit a little devilishly.

"Do you guys want to find Yuu's fear?"

Again, awkward silence.

"… I hope you do know that he is going to impale us with Mugen." says Allen.

"He doesn't have to know what we're trying to do. It's not like we can't do this with subtlety."

"Well-"

"And if we find his fear, we might be able to pay him back for calling you a beansprout all the time!~"

_That _is _true… _Thought Allen.

He looks over at Kanda, sitting by himself as always, though Lenalee has tried to invite him over to sit with them multiple times. He was eating soba noodles, not a surprise there. Allen tries to recall back on his missions, he doesn't remember Kanda being frightened of any particular thing…

_Hey, it wouldn't hurt to try right? I mean what's the worst that can happen? He tries to kill us? Well it's not like he's the only one who has Innocence here, we can always defend ourselves… and this isn't the first time we got on Bakanda's bad side, Lavi braided his hair once!_

"Okay." Allen says, "I'm in."

"Great!" Lavi looked positively ecstatic, "Lenalee?"

"I don't really like where this is going…" Lenalee states, hesitant, "but I'm in, _someone_ has to drag you two to the infirmary afterwards."

**Fear of Bugs-**

"You think Bakanda will be frightened by a _spider_?" Allen asks, doubt written all over his face.

They were making their way down the long winding hallways of Headquarters to Komui's office. Occasionally stopping to check if Kanda was anywhere in sight, though Allen didn't really think he cares as to why the three exorcists were wandering the hallways after lunch.

"Not likely," Lavi admitted, "but we don't know for sure. It's easy to test anyways, I bet the science department has plenty of creepy crawlies in their labs for testing whatever stuff they make in there."

"Okay, so how exactly are we going to set the bug on Kanda?" Lenalee inquires, "He's going to flick it off or slash it to pieces the minute it crawls on him."

"So we do this when he doesn't have his sword on him."

"He _always _has his sword on him! It's his Innocence!"

"No, not always." states Lenalee.

"Seriously?" Allen gaped, "When?"

He couldn't remember a time when the Japanese boy didn't have his sword in its sheath hanging around the waist of his uniform.

"Well, I'm not 100% sure… but I remember that sometimes when he meditates, he doesn't have his sword on him… he has it close by, but he's not carrying it."

"Then it works!" Lavi exclaims excitedly, "If Yuu flicks the bug off without showing much expression, then he's not afraid. If he gets up, gets his sword and chops it to pieces (poor bug), then he's not afraid. So we basically have to look at his expression to see if it shows anything close to fear."

" Okay." Allen said, "If this fails, then Lavi's going to be the first one to get killed."

"Why me?" Lavi retorted, "You and Yuu aren't exactly on good terms either, _beansprout."_

"My name's Allen, and you are going to be the first one he kills because this was your idea."

"Just because it was my idea doesn't mean that Yuu will aim for anyone individually. He'll probably use first illusion and then we'll all get killed together."

"You know that's worse then just one of us getting killed, because while one person's getting killed the rest can run."

_What did I do to deserve this? _Lenalee thought.

In their conversation, the group hadn't realized they have reached Komui's office… until they heard.

"LENALEEEEEEEEEE!" Cries Komui as he runs over from his desk covered with at least 20 piles of paperwork and grabs on to her.

"''- "

**Bam!** Lenalee clocks Komui over the head with her fist.

**1 hour later.**

"We got a hairy tarantula!~" Lavi says with glee as he stares at the clear jar Lenalee held.

Lenalee sighs, "I hope this is going to work out. It was _hard_ explaining why we needed this spider. And we can't even tell them what our actual objective was!"

_It's true, _Allen thought, _after Komui finally calmed down, we had to tell Komui that we were _bored _and wanted to _play _with the biggest, hairiest bug the science department's got on hand… of course then Komui disagreed… and then Lenalee pleaded and said that she also wanted to observe it for the sake of science or something along the lines of that… and then Komui says then they can just observe it _in the laboratory._ Then Lenalee says that she wanted to keep it overnight because she wanted to record its activities over a long period of time…._

Allen shakes his head. At least they got the creature, but they also got some strange looks pointed their way from the science department.

Oh yeah, and Lenalee has to make Komui coffee for the next three weeks, but she doesn't seems to mind.

"Well then, lets go find Yuu! He should be meditating right now, correct?"

Lenalee nodded.

"Then let's go!"

As the three approached the hall where the meditating room was, they became very quiet in fear of being discovered. Very carefully, Lavi opened the door just a slight bit, justso that there is a crack big enough to see through.

_Thank goodness this door doesn't squeak. _Allen thought.

Lavi gestured for Lenalee and Allen to come over, and, being as silent as possible, Lavi peered into the crack.

Kanda was sitting cross-legged on the floor with one hand placed on each knee. His eyes were closed and, to everyone's surprise, he looks peaceful… well, as peaceful as Kanda can get, anyways.

"Wow," Says Lavi, "Yuu does that almost everyday? Seems kind of boring."

"_Shhhh!_" Shushed Lenalee.

"Does he have his sword?" Whispered Allen.

Lavi scanned the room. It was empty and devoid of any furniture. The floorboards looked shiny and new, the walls were a perfect white, and the doors looked like something that came from a Japanese dojo. Actually, this whole room looked like a room from a Japanese dojo.

_Suits Yuu, since he's Japanese and all… _Lavi thought.

Finally, Lavi spotted Mugen in its sheath, leaning against the wall in the far right of the room.

"His innocence is in the room," reported Lavi, "but it's about 6 meters away from Yuu."

"Okay, good enough."

Lavi inched the door open further so the spider can crawl through, then gestured to Lenalee, who brought over the jar.

Slowly, she twisted the top of the jar open and faced the opening to the crack of the door. The tarantula inside didn't move, so Lenalee tilted the jar's back up, until slowly, the spider edged its way out of the jar and on to the wooden floor.

Once in the room, the creature started to pick up speed, as if sensing its newfound freedom. The three peeked through the crack, heads on top of each other, trying to get a look. This arrangement was fairly uncomfortable, especially for Lavi, who was at the bottom, but the exorcists were too intrigued by the matter at hand to pay any attention to posture.

The spider headed straight for Kanda.

"Score!" Lavi cheered silently, "Spiders are smart."

The creature is now crawling on to Kanda's right leg, the group held their breaths as they watched, curious as to how he would react.

The reaction wasn't even close to one-half as dramatic as they wanted.

If Kanda had sensed the tarantula, he's not showing it. The Japanese boy continued meditating, either oblivious to what's now on his lap or didn't think it was important.

"He's not reacting at all!" Allen spoke in a hushed but urgent tone, "So does that mean he's not afraid of bugs?"

"Maybe Yuu doesn't see it."

"So what do we do?"

"We have to get Yuu to open his eyes."

"So… you're saying that one of us has to go in there and stop his meditating?"

"… Yeah pretty much."

"That's insane." Lenalee said, "Kanda doesn't really like it when people interrupt his meditating… scratch that, Kanda doesn't really people, period."

"Well then, to make things easier for us, we don't have to go in alone."

"You mean we all just march in there? Don't you think he'll just get madder if three people randomly barge in instead of one person randomly barging in? And wasn't it you who said getting us all killed is a bad idea?"

"Yeah but we can all say- "

Alllen and Lenalee never found out what they were supposed to say because at that precise moment the three teenagers realized three things:

1. That they weren't whispering anymore and were instead talking at a volume that was above average.

2. That the door was open quite wide and a certain dark haired exorcist with Mugen in his hands was fixing them all with a death glare.

3. That the certain dark haired exorcist _had the tarantula in his hands._

" Tch, What the hell are you people doing here?" Said Kanda, looking very annoyed.

"We were um…" Lenalee stutters.

"You see Yuu-"

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Says Kanda, enunciating each word clearly, "Or I will kill you."

Allen swore he could see the aura of the devil light up around Kanda.

"… A-a-anyways," continues Lenalee, "We… we were-"

_Darn darn darn I can't think of anything!_

" Meditate!" Allen pipes up.

Kanda raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah! Er… I mean… we wanted to meditate! You know, the stress on missions lately and the whole Noah Clan and HQ getting invaded and… yeah…"

"Right!" Lavi agrees, "We heard meditating was good for both the mind and body and can prevent brain… disease … and- **ouch**!"

Lavi cuts off because Allen has just nudged him on the arm, _hard._

"So… what do you have in your hand there?" Asks Lenalee a little nervously.

"Tch. Some bug. Any idea who's it is?"

"N-n-n-no! Not at all!" Lenalee declines frantically, shaking her head, "why would we know who something like that belongs to? I mean there are a lot of staffs in Headquarters after all…"

"Yeah!" Lavi follows suit, "It's not like we deliberately set it-"

Lavi's air cuts off from a vicious elbow to the stomach, courtesy of Lenalee.

"It probably belongs to Komui." Allen said, trying to keep his voice stable, "Because they're the Science Department so they need test subjects…"

"Hn." Kanda says and walks off, muttering something under his breath that sounded like "Komui" and "Dim-witted".

As soon as the dark-haired exorcist was out of sight, the group let out a huge sigh of relief.

"So…" says Lavi, looking a lot more optimistic than Allen and Lenalee felt, "Guess Yuu's not afraid of bugs?"

**Guess this is it for the first chapter, hopefully it wasn't too long. If you read this far, thank you very much! I will try to update as soon as possible. I'm aiming for three chapters! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter's up! Thank you so much to the people who reviewed, favourited, or put this story on alert! It really encouraged me to try my best writing this second chapter. I hope you enjoy! **

The morning dawned bright and still. Allen Walker climbed out of bed and rubbed the grogginess out of his eyes, clearly more weary than usual due to getting up an hour early. Even so, he was determined to get to his redheaded friend's room so they can discuss plans to reveal Kanda's fear. Since their last plan with the tarantula went… well considering they found their answers, but they didn't really commence with the level of subtlety they wanted, not even close. That and Kanda is very obviously _not_ frightened by bugs.

As Allen made his way out of his dorm and on to the hallway, he still felt sheepish, and hungry, but breakfast isn't until eight o' clock.

_Get a grip, _Allen told himself, _gotta get to Lavi's room, Lavi's room._

He walked right by Lavi's door, but didn't notice until walking about 10 more meters. This was not unusual, since all the doors look very much alike, and they are all lined up in the spiraling hallway in a similar manner. Just ask Miranda Lotto.

Allen opens the door, only to find that Lenalee was already there, and Lavi was bouncing on his bed, clearly showing impatience.

"_Allen!" _Pouted Lavi, "What took you so long? We were beginning to think that you overslept and forgot about us!"

The white haired teen groans.

"How can I possibly forget? You called me through Timcanpy at 1 AM for cryin' out loud!"

"Yeah… sorry about that. I realized late at night that none of us has any missions, so we should use this time to our advantage."

Allen didn't understand why whether they had missions affected this, besides, wouldn't they have a better chance of observing Kanda if they were all on a mission together? But, for time's sake, Allen decided not to argue.

"So," Lavi said, crossing his legs, "I want to find out if Yuu's scared of heights or ghosts. Any thoughts on how?"

"Well this Headquarters has a roof," Lenalee said, "Some staff like to eat lunch up there to enjoy fresh air. We can do that today and ask Kanda to join us. Problem is, he's probably doesn't want to eat with us."

"Then we all try to convince him! Use big words."

"Yeah." Says Allen, "You do that, since you probably know the most big words out of the three of us, being the heir to Bookman and all."

"I can try," Lavi says defiantly, "but I'm not guaranteeing results."

"Okay Lavi, if you fall on your face, we'll go back you up."

"Are you saying that I'm gonna fall on my face?"

"Considering the way things has been going with your words of wisdom… yeah."

"Fine. If you're so certain, let's see you try!" Challenges Lavi.

"That's alright with me." Shrugs Allen, "Even if I fail, at least I can make sure he doesn't get pissed off enough draw his sword in the middle of the cafeteria, so that way innocent bystanders can be spared of their food getting ruined."

"You sure you can do that? As I mentioned before, you and Yuu aren't on such good terms and more likely than not you two will end up at each other throats, and that's because you get so offended when he calls you a beans-"

"My name's Allen thank you very much." Allen cuts in, "And no offense, but you tick off Bakanda a whole lot more when you call him Yuu, or try to braid his hair."

"So it's settled the. Due to your massive ego, you can go talk to Yuu."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

The two boys turned away from each other abruptly, chins held high and pouts on their faces.

"Thank you," says Lenalee, throwing her hands up, "for the display of you two's level of maturity. Now, if this manly contest is over, can we get back to the reason we're here? How are we going to find out if Kanda's scared of ghosts?"

"That's simple," says Lavi, still sulking a little, "Tell him a scary story about his room and see if he's scared."

"Right," Allen's voice dripped sarcasm, "because he will _definitely_ show his fear in front of us."

"You're right, Yuu would probably rather die." Lavi admitted, "But it's not as simple as 'tell him a ghost story and leave it at that'. We again have to _observe._"

Allen really didn't like the direction this plan was going.

"Lemme guess," Lenalee said, putting her head in her hands, "you want us to "observe" Kanda at night to see if he's scared."

"Bingo!" Lavi replied cheerfully.

"…"

Awkward silences are becoming quite common, aren't they?

"… You're absolutely insane," Says Allen, "when Kanda finds out, he won't just _impale_ us, he's going to chop us into tiny pieces and feed us to the fishes."

"Besides all the violence," Lenalee said, "don't you think this plan is a tad… _intrusive_?"

"Okay, if you two have any better ideas, you are welcome to share."

"… I got nothing." confesses Lenalee.

The only idea Allen could think of was getting a "ghost" made with a stick and white tablecloth and waving it at Kanda's window going _woo-hoo-HOO, _but he has major doubts about the success of that.

"Fine. Not that you haven't completely lost it, but because I can't think of any better way- wait I can, how about instead of _us_ going in his room, we can set a golem where he can't find it and let that "observe"."

"That's a good point," Lavi said, "problem is, we're still going to have to go in Yuu's room to set up the golem."

"…I can work with that." Allen finally complies.

"So can I." says Lenalee.

"Alright then! Let's get the day started!" exclaimed Lavi.

**Fear of Heights**

Lunchtime came around once again, and the three exorcists decided it was time for some action.

The cafeteria was noisy, as always, and the lineup for food was long. However, Jeryy the chef along with his staff work so fast that even the longest line can be dissipated in less than 10 minutes. Usually, Allen enjoyed waiting in line and soaking up the sheer amount of sweet aroma flowing from the kitchen; it gives him a sense of relief, but today was a definite exception.

Instead, he was… nervous, but also excited, the sort of feeling you get when you slow down just before the drop on a rollercoaster.

"Allen-kun! I asked you three times, what would you like for desert?"

"Huh?" Allen responded, "Oh."

In middle of feeling nervous/excited, he didn't notice that he already traveled to the front of the line; he also realized that some people behind him were getting impatient with the delay he caused. So the white-haired boy quickly ordered 20 chocolate muffins and left for the tables.

He joined Lenalee and Lavi, whom he noted tried to sit as close to Kanda as possible without drawing unwanted suspicion. Sadly, their postures were so tense and they were so silent that it was obvious that something was bothering them.

"So, isn't the weather beautiful today?" Allen started a fake casual conversation.

"It's really nice isn't it?" Lenalee responds on cue, "too bad it's so stuffy in here, I would really like to go get some fresh air!"

"I know!" Lavi cried with fake optimism, "Let's go eat on the roof! That way we can enjoy the wonderful sunshine!"

"That really would be great."

At this point, Lenalee gently kicks Allen from under the table, this was the signal that Allen should go and talk to Kanda.

_Gulp._

Allen approached the dark-haired boy, who sat at the same table in the corner. He was still eating soba noodles and made no sign of acknowledging the younger teen.

"Hey Kanda." Allen said, mustering as much sugar-sweetness into his voice as possible.

However, Kanda can't stand sweet things, metaphorically or literally.

"What do you want?" The Japanese boy turned his dark eyes away from the soba noodles and fixed them on Allen, not happily.

"Erm… well… it's a nice day outside isn't it?"

"Just get to the point."

"So I was wondering if you like to join us for-"

Kanda turned away, "No."

"Come on. We all should get some fresh-"

"No."

"You shouldn't always stay down here and eat the exact-"

"Don't make me repeat it one more time." said Kanda, with an edge to his voice.

Allen spins around and faces his two friends, mouthing the words "it's not working".

To his sheer horror, his backup turned out to be Lavi, who strolled over to the table with hands crossed behind and his back whilst _skipping._ Yes, he looked ridiculous.

Lavi mouthed the words "leave it to me" and began:

"… _Oh, isn't it an ravishingly PULCHRITUDINOUS day?" _ Lavi sang.

Allen face-palmed himself while Lenalee, who was watching, slammed her head against the table.

"Nature is a jollity in which all unostentatious beings be necessitated to luxuriate in! Nature is nonpareil, meritorious, stupefying-"

"Shut up." says Kanda.

"philanthropy from above that is feasible and bequeathed to all! Yuu! Thou must agglutinate with us and truly imbue in this resplendent indulgence! Therefore you shall-"

_Is he trying to recite Shakespeare? _Allen questioned.

"append us with exuberance! Let your piquancy become cognizant with soba noodles! Let-"

_If he is, he's doing a TERRIBLE job._

" the cotemporary emanation of the troposphere embrace-"

Kanda slams his hands on the table and stands up.

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

"your quintessence and effectuate the missing allotment! It is only-"

"That's it you stupid rabbit." Kanda draws his sword, "Innocence, activate!"

"Eh?" Says Lavi.

"Run for the roof Lavi! Run for the roof!" yelled Lenalee.

Lavi, apparently catching up with what was going on (finally), made a mad dash for the hall where the staircase leading up to the roof was located. Kanda tore after him, brandishing Mugen. Allen and Lenalee waited a good 5 seconds, and then raced after them both.

On the roof, Lavi ran for the edge and inched as close as he possibly can without falling 300 feet. He waved his hands in an exaggerated motion when he saw Kanda, bursting out of the hall after him.

"Yuu!~ I'm right here! Come and get me!"

The furious swordsman took for the edge without hesitation, and, facing Lavi, who was in a very precarious position, pointed his sword at his head.

"_First illusion, Hell's Insects!"_

Lavi swore, then started running around on the roof, tripping over other people's picnic blankets and his own feet as he tried to dodge the insects from the underworld. At least five times he came a mere 3 inches short of a long, _long _descent.

By the time Lenalee and Allen stepped on to the roof, the scene was already chaos. The staff who were eating lunch dashed, jumped, and ducked to avoid the illusions, with screaming Lavi in its midst. Fear would not even begin describing the feeling in Allen's stomach as Lavi dashed around and came way to close to falling off for comfort.

_This is ironic, _Thought Allen, _we came to find Bakanda's fear and we're the ones who get scared to death._

Lastly, the two gaped as Kanda merely turned and walked back down to Headquarters as if nothing happened.

After the attack was over, Lavi skipped over to Allen and Lenalee.

"Yuu's not afraid of heights!"

Allen looked at him like he lost his mind.

Lenalee looked around ruefully.

"It's too bad," said Lenalee, "No one's going to eat lunch on the roof again for a while."

**Fear of Ghosts**

"Okay Lenalee, it's your turn?" stated Lavi.

"Wait, what? Why me?"

The three were sitting behind one of the huge columns that stood in the hallway. It was 40 minutes before the curfew, and many staff had already called it a day and heading back to their dorms for the night. The designated time for everyone to be back in his or her rooms was 10:00 PM, unless you're instructed to work through an all-nighter. That rule mostly applied to scientists who needed to complete an urgent lab or study (such as that of the Akuma egg).

"You're the one who's going to speak to Yuu this time, since both me and Allen have attempted already. Tell him a scary story about his room while me and Allen sneak in and set Timcanpy… somewhere."

"Hold on! Which scary story should I tell?"

"…"

"I knew it!" Lenalee said, "You guys don't know any stories do you?"

"I know _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_." suggested Allen.

"That really doesn't help!"

"Then improvise." Lavi said matter-of-factly, "Use your creative juices, brainstorm, whatever. Now go go go! We don't have much time!"

Lenalee stumbled out from behind the column, bumping into a finder. After apologizing, she shot her friends a death glare before stomping off to find Kanda.

Allen and Lavi stood in front of Kanda's door, with Timcanpy sitting to top of Allen's head.

"Okay Allen," Says Lavi, "how do you suggest we go in?"

"It's definitely locked," says Allen as he turns the doorknob, "So we have to get past this door."

Lavi took out his hammer, "Then I'll just activate my innocence and break it down."

"No! You think Kanda wouldn't notice his door was smashed into a million pieces?" Allen said, "How about I just pick the lock?"

"Pick the lock? Where'd you learn to do that?"

"Well," Allen face darkens and an evil aura starts drifting around him. "You see, when I was with my master, I had to do a lot of manual labour to pay off his debts, which resulted in me going back very late. He gets drunk and goes back to the inn room, forgetting about me and locking the door. So some nights I end up sleeping in the hallway of the inn, but eventually I learned how to pick locks and get myself inside."

Lavi sweat-dropped, _maybe you should have found a new master…_

"Okay… I'm going to promptly ignore your skills which you probably got from a shady source which I don't want to think about. And tell you to go for it!"

"Uh…" hesitated Allen, "Do you have a pin or a piece of thin wire? Or anything pointy?"

"Wait, you needed that to pick the lock? You can't do it with your bare hands?"

"What do think I am? _Magic?"_

"Ughhhhhhh." says Lavi, sinking to the floor, "Can't you do it with your _f__ingernails_?"

"No I can't. I need something thin and pointy… thin and pointy… Hold on!"

Lavi looked up as Timcanpy flew off Allen's head and settled on the ground.

"Innocence, activate!"

Allen raised his left arm, which is now clad in armor and his hand equipped with razor-sharp claws due to Crown Clown.

"This should work," said Allen as he plunged the tips of his claws into the lock, after a few moments, there was a soft click.

"Yes!" Allen cheered as he opened the door while deactivating his innocence, "It worked!"

Timcanpy, Lavi and Allen stepped into Kanda's room in a row and stared.

The walls had no wallpaper, or even paint. Instead, the walls were plain bricks, with chips and cracks through out. The plain stone floor had no carpet but a thin layer of dust settling over it, while the corners were home to several cobwebs. Almost no light poured in except through the cracks on the darkly tinted window.

"Wow," Lavi said, "this place needs redecorating and refurnishing, it's too depressing in here."

Allen couldn't help but agree. In total, there were only two pieces of furniture in Kanda's room. A wooden bed with scratches and dents topped with plain white blankets, and an equally aged nightstand with what appeared to be an hourglass with a flower inside of it placed on top.

"Yuu keeps a flower?" Lavi spotted the hourglass as well and walked up to it.

Picking the hourglass up, he examined the blossom inside it. The flower was pale pink and didn't have any stems or leaves. There were no soil or water, how can it be alive? Not only that, it seemed to give off a glow, being the brightest object in the room.

"It's a lotus, but aren't those flowers only supposed to grow in water? And- look!" Allen exclaimed, pointing to the bottom of the hourglass.

Four delicate pink petals, lying at the bottom of the hourglass.

"It's shedding petals," said Lavi, "is it dying? Maybe we should give it some water-"

"We should put it back," Allen said softly.

"Huh?"

"I don't think that's an ordinary lotus. We should put it back."

Lavi was stunned for a moment, but quickly realized what Allen meant. The object inside the glass didn't feel like a regular flower, something about it gave off a vibe was so… unsettling and… and… so _sad._

_From__ within the depths of the mud, it shed light upon the world._

Suddenly, pictures poured into Lavi's mind, speeding past like a slideshow. Each shot brought with it a tinge of happiness, or sorrow, or a mixture of both. The shots were fuzzy, frayed at the edges, but held an antique quality to them, as if they were something precious but long forgotten. They sped by, unable to be caught or taken a good look at, yet understandable and painful to bear.

A room with multiple holes filled with water.

A blonde-haired doctor in a lab coat,

A piece of Innocence,

A short-haired child with bright eyes.

Lavi dropped the hourglass, and it hit the ground with a thud.

_That way of life will wither in the end, won't it?_

Someone held on a bed, face obscured by a woman.

Containers holding bodies.

A large pool of blood.

And a vibrant blue sky, stretching endlessly.

_It will wither, and die into the mud._

The two boys were eventually snapped out of shock by the flapping of Tmcanpy's wings.

Apparently, the little creature himself already found a good place to hide.

"Under the bed?" Allen questioned how the Tim was going to observe Kanda then.

"That's alright, " says Lavi quickly, "Timcanpy can come out to take a look after Kanda's asleep, and besides, there's no other options."

The white-haired boy picked up the hourglass, hanging it over his picky, and daintily placed it back on the nightstand.

"Then let's get out of here. We're leaving this to you, Timcanpy!"

Truth was, Allen wanted to get out as fast as possible; he didn't want to see anymore of that.

The golden golem raised his right wing, as if saying, _No problem, _before flying under the bed.

As they closed and locked the door behind them, the two didn't feel anywhere near victorious; they were still too shell-shocked. But another unwelcome feeling was crawling over them… was it guilt? No, so far they haven't felt a single ounce of that. The feeling was… somber, like what you'd feel for an abandoned child.

Pity.

Sorrow.

Apology for their lot.

…

_But why? __What do we pity? What are we feeling so sorry about? Those pictures? We don't even know what those are! Yet…_

"Hey Allen." Lavi said half-heartedly as they were on their way to their rooms, "I'm getting kind of tired of doing this."

Beneath his voice, Allen can hear what his friend really wanted to say.

"_I feel strange. I don't want to do this anymore."_

"Same." Allen replied.

The weather had changed; they can hear the howling of the wind outside of Headquarters, and pitter-patter of rain beginning to dawn on the roof.

"If Yuu's not scared of ghosts… do you just want to tell Komui or someone who's known Yuu for a long time what we want to know, and maybe get some answers?"

Allen nodded.

"Okay then." Lavi said, turning to go into his room, "See you tomorrow."

"…See ya."

In his room, Allen lay on his bed but not able to get to sleep. The wind was whipping leaves around as it blew past his window, creating a high-pitched noised that sounded like the wail of an undead.

Ideally, this weather changed helped their plan, but Allen didn't think Kanda's fear was as simple as bugs or heights or ghosts anymore.

He sat up, listening to the sounds of a brewing storm outside.

_We're going to ask. _Allen was determined. _We're going to ask about what Kanda's fears are, not only that. We're also asking about that lotus… what was it?_

**That's it for the second chapter! ****I'm sorry if it was a bit long XD. Please review! I won't be able to update for the next two weeks due to overnight camp, but I promise I will get straight to writing as soon as I get back, so sorry for the delay ****. **


	3. Chapter 3 Final

**Sorry it took some time to get this up .. I wouldn't have put as much effort into the fanfiction if it wasn't for the reviews and the support! Thank you so much, I appreciate every single one of alerts, favourites, and reviews. It's been a truly great experience writing my first fic, and I will try to write more in the future! Anyways, enough of me rambling, here's the last chapter. Enjoy, and I still own nothing!**

"So now you guys finally come to your senses and realize this thing was kind of crazy?" sighs Lenalee, "of course, you two realize that _after_ I had to make up some random junk on how Headquarters was built on a _graveyard_."

"Uh-huh." Mumbled Allen.

Both boys had their heads down, walking sullenly and looking dispirited, dark circles under their eyes from a lack of sleep. They had just told Lenalee what they planned to have a change of approach (though they said nothing about the lotus), and she was exasperated. Timcanpy didn't show anything about last night, which didn't surprise Allen and Lavi much at all.

"So what are we going to do now?" inquires Lenalee.

Allen lifts up his head, "We ask."

"So you want to know if anyone else knows about Kanda's fears. Didn't you two want-"

"Yes," Confirms Lavi, "someone here ought to know. Yuu's been here for nine years, correct? That's a long time."

"I've been here for a long time as well," Lenalee said, absent-mindedly pulling at the now short strands of her hair, "and I've known Kanda since we were little kids, but I don't recall much about him except he didn't like company very much."

"Do you happen to know who he was close to? Where did he come from? Who his parents were? Anything?" Allen asks.

"I know that he came from Asia, but that doesn't tell us anything about what he's afraid of… and neither does the question about his parents. What's with the sudden change in-?"

Lavi answers smoothly, "Was there anyone with him when he came to HQ?"

"I wasn't there when he first arrived, and why would-"

"Never mind," Allen cuts in, "What about General Tiedoll?"

"He took Kanda on as an apprentice at the age of 10, I doubt he knows much either." Lenalee crossed her arms and made firm eye contact with the two boys, "Since I answered your questions, answer mine. You guys were all crazy about making up plans of insanity to find your answers, and now suddenly decide to ask, _why_?"

Lenalee raised her chin and looked stubbornly ahead. It was clear that they would no more help unless they answered her.

Lavi glanced sideways at Allen; his green eyes seemed to be saying, "_Should we tell her?"_

This drove Allen into more confusion. Why were they so reluctant to speak to Lenalee about this? It definitely wasn't that they didn't trust her, or that they thought she wouldn't believe them, it was more about the _actual thing_ they were speaking of. Getting worked up about a flower and some random pictures was dumb… only if the pictures weren't so _disturbing_ that Allen had trouble thinking of them, much less bringing them up and speaking about them.

For whatever reason, his intuition told him that the less people knew of this, the better.

"Well," The teen can feel that his first word is weighed down with guilt, and tried to lighten his tone so he can sound at least semi-convincing, "if we know Kanda's back story, that might give us a better grasp on what he's afraid of."

It was _kind _of the truth? The only difference was that they want to know not only about Kanda's fear, but his life in general and its connection to the strange lotus. He wondered if that was taking it too far and that it was really none of their business, but curiosity is a strong trait. Maybe karma will get them back for this.

Allen sneaked a look at the other boy. Lavi's face was stoic, a poker face, and when he spoke, his tone was empty and devoid of his usual stuttering and outbursts.

"Since most of the exorcists here had a painful childhood, we suspect that Yuu would not be an exception." Lavi paused here and drew in sharp breath, "in fact, I am perfectly willing to be that his childhood might even be worse than most here."

_That's the future Bookman for you_, Allen thought, _even though most of other times his fluency was that of a moronic sea lion._

"Okay." Lenalee's face fell to look at the floor, then she choked out a humourless laugh, "at least I understand the painful childhood part."

Something in her voice told Allen that she didn't quite believe their excuse, but for whatever reason not to bring it up.

"My brother should be in his office, we can ask him. As supervisor, he ought to at least know _something_."

Lavi nodded, and they started walking.

On their way to Komui's office, Allen thought about painful childhoods and what they meant. He thought of Lenalee, forced to be here in the beginning, separated from the only family she'd ever known. Now that he noticed it, the headquarters came into more focus. The old gothic style wallpaper, the dim torches in the entranceways, the worn marble that was the floor. What would it be like, he wondered, to be trapped here, against your will? To hate every step you take, to despise every flicker of the torches, to have every crack in the walls ooze with unhappiness?

He thought of Lavi, the heir to Bookman. What did it mean? From what he got out of it, it meant to not care about anyone, to only side with those that can witness important marks in history, and to not care because humanity is so freaking stupid, that they would only know how to destroy, rebuild, and repeat.

A pain stabbed through the white-haired boy's heart as he remembered his own past sorrows and woes.

_Mana._

On that dreadful night, happened what had to be the one of the most traumatizing things that can happen to anyone. The reason his hair is stark white, and why his eyes are able to see the soul trapped inside the Akuma. Many a nights afterwards, he had, no, still _have_ dreams of a skeleton, with "Mana" written on its forehead, reaching out with its spindly claws to crush his skull. He would wake up sweating with tears streaming down his face, puzzling over if this Innocence was a blessing or a curse, because all who bear it carries the burdens of the world on his or her shoulders.

As the push open the door to Komui's office, the everyday familiar sight of the supervisor sitting at his desk started to look a little repulsing. Who was he that he can send the exorcists and finders on their way, maybe to their deaths, and sit comfortably in his office, procrastinating his paperwork? How is it that when others are out there risking their lives on a day-to-day basis, he stays here, where it is safe, and so far from the battlefield?

Almost immediately Allen was ashamed by his monstrous thoughts. Komui had to send his friends and his precious little sister off, everyday, and sometimes have somecome back in coffins. He had to put on a stern face and tell them no family of the dead can be alerted of the death, knowing that most had someone waiting back home for them.

Komui was here to ensure that they had a home to return _to._

"Allen."

"…"

"Allen!"

"Wha-?"

"Helloo! Earth to Allen!" Called Lavi, snapping fingers, "You there?"

"R-right!" Allen shook off his remaining scraps of thought, "Good morning Komui-san!"

"Morning Allen-kun!" answered Komui cheerfully, taking a sip of his coffee, "What brings you three to my office today?"

"Yuu!" Lavi replies.

Komui's eyebrows rose, "Kanda? What about him? Wait, lemme guess, he's trying to kill you because you ruined his lunch yesterday by making poetry out of soba noodles."

Lavi opens his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and sighed.

"It's either that was a shockingly good guess… or somebody told you about yesterday."

"Well it's surely difficult not to have heard about it. I've been getting plenty of complaints in the past 12 hours."

Allen grimaced; it was always kind of Komui to deal with all the mischief Lavi, Kanda and himself caused. And it's funny because Allen considered himself the sort of boy that never wanted to cause trouble for anyone. But for some unknown reason, whenever he plans something with Lavi or get into a fight with Kanda, all hell breaks loose.

"Hahaha…." Lavi scratches the back of his head.

"Anyways," Lenalee said, "brother, do you know anything about Kanda's parents, where he was raised, etc.?"

_Wow, _thought Allen. _That was blunt. Then again, since our subtlety has all but got us nowhere, guess we're going to resort to old standbys. _

Komui's eyebrows raised again, his face suddenly wiped of emotion. But underneath, Allen can see a flicker of unease.

This question seemed to draw all the noise out of the room. It was already quiet in here, with the other staff either in the science labs or on break for today, but now it contains a silence so absolute that you can hear every single ticking of the old grandfather clock nearby and every breath one draws in.

Of all their awkward silences, this one takes the cake.

"…"

"…"

"… uhh… so… brother? Are you going to answer?" said Lenalee after about two minutes, her voice sounding very loud in the could-hear-a-pin-drop room.

"…"

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Why… don't I bring in someone who shared more of Kanda's past?" Komui finally said, his voice tinged with resignation.

Allen noticed with amusement that Lavi nearly fell out of his chair. Lenalee's eyes widened considerably. He doesn't blame his two friends, for he felt that his eyes were also bulging from their sockets.

"S-s-share's Yuu's past? What?" Lavi could barely form the words.

Then a magnitude of questions started spilling from the three teen's mouths.

Do we know this person? Is he an exorcist? Is this person one of Yuu's parents? Is he old or young? Where does he or she live? How did he or she share Kanda's past? Why have we not known before?

"Whoa whoa!" Komui held his hands up as if it can block the flurry of words aimed at him. You guys will have to at least give me a chance to call him."

At that, the three exorcists sat back in their chairs, hands in fists on their lap. Komui nearly laughed because they looked so much like little children waiting for their gifts on Christmas.

To all three's surprise, the supervisor did not pick up the phone at the corner of his desk, but gestured to his golem.

"Message to Noise Marie, report to the office please."

"…"

*Goes back to the awkward silence and bulging eyes*

"…"

"…"

"… Is it just me or did I hear _Noise Marie."_

"…"

"… yeah… I don't think that was you…"

"…"

"…"

"_**WHAT?"**_

Noise Marie is an exorcist known for his keeping both his and other's composure, a calming influence despite his huge stature. Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee all respects him very much as an individual, part of it was how he continued to be an exorcist, despite being blind, and his extreme regard for the wellbeing of his comrades. Allen did find himself wondering over how the man lost his sight, but asking might bring up a sensitive or painful memory, so not many ever did, and he supposed he shouldn't, as well. Marie was a good exorcist, and a good friend, and that was that.

When the dark-skinned man finally sat down in the lounger in front of the three, Allen began having troubles thinking of how to start. What if he didn't want to talk about it? What if it reminds him of bad times?

Komui seemed so sense the hesitation, much to Allen's relief, he became the one that started the conversation.

"Marie, these three children seems to have some questions that you might be able to answer," *clears his throat*, "questions regarding an exorcist by the name of Kanda Yuu."

"Kanda?" Marie repeated the name; "Yes of course, I've known him since he was just a child."

"Umm… so…." Lenalee fought hard to sound dignified, "Do you know who his parents are and who raised him? I know he came from Asia."

"Ah." Noise Marie smiled understandingly, "Kanda's past is his and his alone. Therefore it is not proper for me to speak of it."

"Oh." Lenalee said, trying not to look disappointed.

"However," Marie said, and the three down faces perked up a bit, "I can tell you the general sense of it and the bit about me. I'm sure Kanda will tell in detail, in time."

Allen seriously doubted the latter.

"Starting off… Kanda was raised in the Asian Branch, Sixth Institute. He has no parents."

_No parents? Did they die shortly after he was born? Did Akuma or the Earl kill them? Was he cut out of his mother's stomach like in the movies?_

"I met him… together with Bak-chan, when he was nine years old, and being chased by some people."

The mention of Bak's name raised more eyebrows, but no one spoke a word. Komui excused himself to do his work. No one except Marie noticed him leave.

_Chased? By people? Why the heck would Kanda be chased by people? Akuma maybe, but what would people want to do with him? Did he steal something? Or killed someone? Was he on the wanted list?_

"We tried to stop them, but the people took him away."

_Okay… the Kanda back then must be different, if he couldn't defeat whoever was after him… and he needed two strangers to protect him… and let himself be taken away… _

"The next time I saw him I was lying on a stretcher in a laboratory. I was sure I was almost dead."

_Is this the event that lead him to lose his sight?_

"I _was_ almost dead. But Kanda came along, covered in blood, and he saved me."

_But Kanda was nine! He couldn't have had medical training yet! Up till now I haven't seen him heal any-_

A memory jolted into Allen's mind. On that first mission in the abandoned city of Mattel, Kanda has taken a lot of damage from an Akuma.

The injuries looked like it would take five months to heal.

And it took him three days.

_Could he have some kind knowledge in treating injuries? Is that why he got better so fast? No…if he did, he could have treated Kyory that time in the ark, but he didn't, and Kanda's cold but I'm sure he would have done _something,_ if he could._

"Then he dragged me through the air ducts, and we escaped from the laboratory."

That last part carried a heavy burden. Allen knew it. It was something about the way he said it, some about how his throat seemed to be caught up and he had to swallow before getting the words out. Like there was inseparable and deep, raw, pain under the simple words that signaled what happened was deep and traumatic.

Allen could not bear to make him elaborate. And he knew this went for Lenalee and Lavi as well.

Lavi was the first to speak after Marie was done.

"Um… do you happen to have an idea of what Kanda could potentially… be scared of?"

Marie chuckled.

"He fears what all exorcists, no, what all humankind fears."

"As in…"

"Betrayal. Death. Loss of loved ones."

None of them knew how to exactly respond.

"I know it may seem like Kanda doesn't care for anything, but keep in mind: though Kanda had no parents, that in the end, he was accompanied and raised by those who cared for him in all the ways that mattered, and indeed he cared, in all the ways that mattered, for those who cared for him. Even now, that is still true."

Allen had a feeling that the last bit was especially directed at them.

Lenalee closed the office door behind her with a smile.

"Are you two satisfied with the answers you got?"

Allen nodded numbly.

"It's too bad we didn't hear the whole back-story." Lavi said, looking up at the ceiling, "but at the end of the day, I'm not sure I really want to know."

Allen again nodded, feeling the same.

Lenalee laughs, "Lavi, it's not the end of the day; it's only about time for lunch." She then cocks her head to the side, her expression turning to that of curiosity, "so now that you guys are satisfied, what are you to do next?"

"Oh I dunno. I personally want to relax and clear my mind; for I have a feeling we shall have a mission tomorrow. How 'bout meditating?"

Lenalee and Allen burst out laughing.

On the walk to the diner, Allen stared at the floor. Sentences pounding in his head like a ever-going ring of a church bell.

_He was accompanied and raised by those who cared for him in all the ways that mattered, and he indeed cared, in all the ways that mattered, for those who cared for him._

The white-haired teen couldn't help but think that applied to him, too.

Mana had cared for him. He was strict, but he was the man Allen considered his father. Marian Cross… had at least kept him alive, hadn't he?

_Wow, I can't believe I'm actually considering that womanizing, no good-_

Allen's reverie was utterly swept away due to the impact of him bashing brain-first into somebody and landing ungracefully in a heap on the floor.

"I am so sor-" Allen asaid, but his throat cut off when he realized who he crashed into.

Hint: this person has long hair and dark eyes.

"Tch. Watch where you're walking you idiotic beansprout! Your eyes are quite useless!"

Allen, rubbed the back of his head, checking for bumps and potentially fatal external bleeding, but there were none.

Then it came to him… somehow… maybe through revelation made on impact.

A. They forgot to ask about the lotus.

B. Why on earth were they scared of Kanda? He's a regular human; he fears the same things as they do. He carries a heavy burden, but can anyone really say that any exorcist's burdens were much lighter? No. Even when they had their typical disagreements, Allen was a little scared, of Kanda and of his reputation. He's not afraid of either right now. His reputation already sunk in the mud anyway.

So he pulled himself off the floor, and said something that buried his politeness reputation into the depths of Earth's core.

"Psh. Watch what you keep in your room girly-face! That lotus is quite creepy!"

The younger boy heard Lenalee's jaw hit the floor. And was pretty sure even if he had said nothing, Lavi's mind was unleashing every single profanity the world had to offer at him.

Yeah, mentioning Kanda's lotus was probably taboo. No point taking it back now though, words were like spilled water.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

The aura of the devil was blazing around the Japanese boy like a second sun. And he obviously heard the first time, because he was drawing his sword.

Allen activated Crown Clown.

"Wanna go?"

"You don't have to ask me, beansprout."

"I told you! My name is _Allen."_

"Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!" said Lenalee, frustrated, "Sto-"

Lavi takes out his hammer and activates his innocence.

"…Lavi, what are you doing?" Lenalee groans, "You know what? Why am I even bothering to ask?"

Lavi shrugs, "Someone has to come in between them right?"

By now the fight has started, sounds of metal slamming against metal and here and there a blue glint that was Kanda's Innocence and a green glint that was Allens. Lenalee doesn't see how Lavi throwing himself into the brawl was going to help any, but she knew stopping Lavi was as pointless as yelling at the two that was fighting.

She sighed, crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Motioning that the red haired boy may continue but she will have no part in this.

"Don't worry," said Lavi as he extends his hammer and grins," I'll make sure those two don't end up in the infirmary."

**An hour later**

"All three of you ended up in the infirmary! Why am I not surprised?" Lenalee throws her hands up in a gesture of helplessness.

"Haha…" Lavi admitted sheepishly, "I may have gone a little overboard."

"Oh really." Lenalee's voice weighed with heavy sarcasm, "I didn't notice the deep cuts, purple bruises, and mild concussions that you all seem to have. Not at all!"

"Oh come on," said Allen, holding his black eye, which was the cursed one. He couldn't remember whether if it was a punch by Kanda, Lavi or himself.

"At least we didn't break anything."

"So you don't remember the railing you guys slashed to pieces or the three windows you guys punched through?" Noise Marie asked gently.

Marie was the one who had to carry the three into the infirmary after the action. Thank goodness he had strong hearing and found them before they bled to death or got the strength back to do it over. The head nurse had a fit when they arrived and called them a bunch of "muddle-minded useless misfits", but proceeded to wrap up their cuts and ice the bruises, though not without more force than necessary, which cause yelps of pain from Allen and Lavi. Kanda bit his lip and refused to show emotion.

_Komui's also going to have a fit when he sees the stuff we broke. _Thought Allen.

As if on cue, the door literally comes flying off its hinges, revealing the supervisor with his leg out, Kyory and Miranda standing behind him looking only slightly concerned. Apparently, since they've already trashed the property, it wouldn't hurt to trash it some more.

_Great. Now the head nurse will have a fit over her door, and we'll all pass out from agony. _

"Komui-san I am terribly sorry about the damage we did to-"

"LENALEE!" Komui ran, tears flying and clung onto his little sister. "ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DECIDE TO MOVE OUT NOW BECAUSE OF-"

**Bam!**

"…"

_Well now we know how much Komui cares for Headquarters. _Allen thought grimly.

"Um, Komui-san? You might want to fix the door? Komui-san? Are you alive? We're supposed to be the ones half-dead here… Komui-san?"

"Tch. You stupid beansprout, if you're gonna kill yourself next time, do it alone!"

At that, Allen scrambles up into an upright position on his bed.

"You wanna go again?" he challenged.

Kanda also scrambles up.

"When you're ready beansprout!"

"**Innocence!" **they yelled in unision, "**Activ-**"

And both boys fell back down on to their beds crumbling and gasping in pain, their bandages soaking with fresh blood that poured from their reopened wounds.

_Allen and Kanda are sure displaying a ton of maturity. _All bystanders thought as they watched, amused.

Well, all except for Komui, who is a little unconscious at the moment.

"… time… out….." Allen pants.

"… yeah…" huffed Kanda, "…maybe…. Later…"

As Allen straightened himself out, (to millions of jabbing needles at his ribcage) then… he started _laughing._

It started out as a mild chuckle, but then grew into a outburst of guffaws. He didn't know what he was laughing _at._ Maybe it was the fact that they were acting like five year olds, maybe because of the stupidity, or how broken and battered they were, or maybe it was the expressions on his friend's faces, looking at him like he's gone loco. Whatever it was, he only knew he laughed so hard he was almost crying while is ribs protested wildly.

Laughter is contagious. Lavi stared, and broke into loud chortles himself, then the rest of the room almost all simultaneously had a breakdown of hilarity. They laughed so hard people had tears streaming down their faces, and Lavi looked like he was mildly choking.

In the midst of all this, Kanda did not laugh, but of course he wouldn't.

Instead, he was thinking back to something that happened what seemed like ages ago, how similar it was to this, yet how different.

_This world is so dark… and it's so hard to breathe…_

_But i_

…_n this instant, when I laughed along with you… I felt that breathing just got a little more easier._

He was alone then, making his first friend.

He was not alone now.

_Hn, seems like I'm remembering some useless things._

But the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, just a little bit, whether he wanted it or not.

"OOOOIII! Yuu smiled!" Lavi apparently stopped laughing _just _long enough, and he looked so happy, like the world just gave him a great hug.

"Kanda smiled?"

"Really?"

"Haha Bakanda finally cracks!"

"Kanda did you really-?"

"Do it again, Yuu! …Don't look like a pessimist, come on!"

"Please Kanda, General Tiedoll will be so glad!"

"Smiling is good for one's soul…"

"Should I pull your cheeks then? To help you out?"

_Do that and I'll kill you. _Kanda thought.

"You're going to die scowling, Bakanda!"

_Idiots._

They were naïve, immature, unknowing _idiots!_

But hey… it's a big world right?

There ought to be enough room for idiots like them.

_Because he is accompanied by people who cares for him, in all the ways that matter,_

…

_And indeed, he cares, in all the ways that matter, for the people who cares for him._

_**The End~**_


End file.
